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Saturday, June 10, 2017

High Energy

     Recently I have felt quite energetic and--dare I say--social. Before Bach Tea, it wasn't unusual for me to hole away and keep myself from people, even when I desperately wanted to be around someone. I was truly terrified of keeping in touch with friends and family because of crippling insecurities. What would they think of me? What would they say to me? Would the interraction hurt my feelings? I mean, I had beaucoups of questions brewing in my head at the first second of possible social interraction. I would be stressing myself out before the initial word was even exchanged. My mind would race, my heart would thud, sweat would bead up in the middle of my back. I was honestly scared out of my wits.

     Today, I am confident about yesterday. I went to lunch with a friend of mine for the first time--she is a waitress in a lobby restaurant at a hotel nearby where I once lived. She served me daily for a month. Since my significant other and I are moving soon, she wanted to see me one last time before I'm on to another place, and she texted me with a lunch invitation. Usually, I'd decline such an offer, but I had been feeling rather chatty and spry, so I happily accepted. I wasn't nervous when I saw her for once, and during the meal, my words weren't jumbled or stuck in my throat; I didn't stutter. We had a constant and flowing conversation that brought me great satisfaction mentally. It was such a nice meet, she didn't want to part after the communion. Instead, she asked that I come along with her to go antiquing. AND I DIDN'T SAY NO! That's walking AND talking that I agreed to. That's big for me. I am usually afraid to do any kind of exercise around anyone, muchless a casual acquaintance. And you know what? I had an absolute blast. It was wonderful. We ended up staying out together for nearly 5 hours, and I didn't panic at all.

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